The Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Healing from Heartbreak (And How to Avoid Them)

Heartbreak sucks. Period. Whether you were together for two weeks, two years, or two decades, the pain of losing someone you cared about hits like a freight train. It leaves you questioning everything—your worth, your choices, even your sanity. You replay every moment, every conversation, wondering, “Where did I go wrong?”

But here’s the thing: You didn’t. Heartbreak isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s a brutal, messy, but powerful invitation to grow, heal, and take your power back.

I know because I’ve been there. I made every mistake in the book. I’ve also watched so many amazing women get stuck in the same traps—wasting time, energy, and even money, chasing relief that never comes. So, let’s talk about those pitfalls and how you can heal in a way that actually works.

My Story: When Healing Felt Impossible

I’ll never forget that day. I was sitting on my living room floor, surrounded by tissues and empty Chardonnay bottles, feeling like my heart had been ripped out. The man I thought I was going to marry, my best friend, had been lying to me the whole time. A friend told me he never actually broke up with his high school sweetheart. Yep, I was that woman—the other woman. And I had no clue.

I spiraled. How could I have missed the signs? How could someone I loved so much do this to me? I blamed myself for everything. Was I unworthy of love? Destined to be alone? Was this karma for mistakes I made when I was younger? Did I talk about my dreams too much? Was I too much? Not enough? What did I do wrong?!

For years, I tried to outrun the pain. I worked late nights, said yes to every social invite, drank too much, and jumped into relationships I had no business being in. I even spent money I didn’t have on anything that might give me a moment of happiness. But the void was still there. I was exhausted, emotionally drained, and felt like I’d never be whole again.

It wasn’t until I stopped running and faced the pain head-on that things started to change. Therapy, self-help books, and even medication had offered short-term relief, but nothing stuck. So, I took matters into my own hands. I combined my training as a Behavior Analyst and my studies in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with spiritual practices. It wasn’t an overnight fix—there were tears, setbacks, and a lot of soul-searching—but I found my way back to myself. Actually, I found a better version of myself.

The Turning Point

Once I started to heal, friends began coming to me for advice. I shared what I’d learned, and to my surprise, it worked for them too. That’s when I knew I had to create something bigger. That’s how The Healing Blueprint was born—a program designed to help women like you navigate heartbreak, rediscover your strength, and build a life you love.

The Biggest Mistakes Women Make When Healing from Heartbreak (Yep, I Made Them Too!)

Heartbreak sucks. There’s no way around it. It’s messy, painful, and leaves you questioning everything about yourself. But here’s the deal: healing from it doesn’t come with a quick-fix manual. And, girl, I’ve made every mistake you can think of. So, let’s break down those common traps we fall into and how to steer clear of them so you can start feeling whole again.

1. Rushing the Healing Process

We’ve all heard it—"Just get over it." Or maybe you’re saying it to yourself because the pain feels too heavy. But here’s the truth: rushing it doesn’t work. It’s like shoving a bunch of dirty laundry into a closet. Sure, it looks clean on the outside, but that mess is still there, waiting to spill out when you least expect it.

Healing takes time. Sitting with the pain isn’t fun, but avoiding it only pushes it deeper, where it festers. It’s okay to take your time. You don’t need to be “over it” by anyone else’s timeline.

2. Replaying the Past

I used to be the queen of overanalyzing. Every text, every fight, every little happy moment—I dissected it all, trying to figure out where it went wrong. But all that does is keep you stuck in the past.

Think of it like this: Imagine I show you your favorite ice cream, talk about how amazing it is on a hot summer day, and then say, “Now, don’t think about ice cream.” Could you do it? Nope. And that’s exactly why “just move on” doesn’t work. Obsessing over the past doesn’t bring answers; it just traps you there. Reflection is helpful—rumination is a prison.

3. Overcommitting to Distractions

Throwing yourself into work, saying yes to every social invite, picking up five new hobbies—it all seems productive, right? But it’s often just another way to avoid facing the pain. Healing isn’t about filling every moment with something to do; it’s about creating space to feel and process what you’re going through.

Avoidance might work for a while, but eventually, those emotions will demand to be felt. Give yourself permission to slow down.

4. Healing in Isolation

When you’re heartbroken, it feels like no one could possibly understand your pain. You think, “My story is different.” I get it—I used to believe that too. I thought no one else’s advice applied to me because my situation was unique. But trying to heal alone? It’s one of the biggest mistakes you can make.

You don’t need to go through this alone. Whether it’s friends, a coach, or a group of women who’ve been there, sharing your story helps. And here’s the thing: healing isn’t a one-time thing. It’s about consistent, committed action. Even small steps, like turning one negative thought into a positive one, can shift your mood and energy. You don’t need to move mountains—just start with pebbles.

5. Retail Therapy Gone Wrong

I can’t even count how many times I convinced myself that a new outfit, some random kitchen gadget, or yet another scented candle was the answer to all my problems. Sure, treating yourself is great, but when it’s just a way to avoid the pain, it’s nothing more than a quick fix. I’ve blown money I didn’t have on stuff I didn’t need, thinking it would make me feel better. Spoiler: it didn’t.

True healing doesn’t come from swiping your credit card. It comes from doing the inner work, even when it’s uncomfortable.

6. Falling for Quick-Fix Gimmicks

Oh, the self-help books, the crystals, the tarot readings—I’ve tried it all. And while some of those things can be helpful tools, they’re not magic wands. Healing isn’t something you can buy in a 3-step program or a crystal set. It takes time, intention, and real effort.

I look back and think, If I had a dollar for every “quick fix” I tried, I’d be a millionaire. Don’t fall for the idea that there’s a shortcut. The real magic is in the work you put in, day by day.

7. Believing You’re Broken

This one hits hard. After a breakup, it’s so easy to think, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m unlovable,” or “I’m broken beyond repair.” I’ve been there. But those thoughts? They’re lies. Your mind tries to keep you in a little “safe box” to avoid more pain. It whispers things like, “Stay alone. No one can hurt you that way.” But all that does is keep you in a cycle of pain and loneliness.

You’re not broken. You’re hurting. And there’s a big difference.

8. Clinging to “What Ifs”

The “what ifs” are brutal. “What if they come back?” “What if I did something different?” It’s like a loop that never ends. But staying in the “what if” keeps you from seeing the “what now?” It keeps you blind to the present moment and the healing opportunities right in front of you.

Letting go isn’t about forgetting them—it’s about focusing on what you need to feel whole again.

You’ve Got This. For Real.

I know heartbreak feels like it’ll last forever. But it doesn’t have to. If you’re tired of feeling stuck, if you’re ready to stop just surviving and start thriving, I’m here for you. My Healing Blueprint program is built on everything I learned (the hard way). It’s about real healing, real support, and real transformation.

You’re not alone in this. Let’s heal together. 💖

What Happens When You Heal the Right Way 💖

When you start healing with intention and the right support, everything shifts. You stop blaming yourself for the breakup and looking for closure from someone who couldn’t give it to you. Instead, you find that closure within yourself. You rebuild your confidence, set boundaries that protect your peace, and walk into your next chapter with clarity and purpose.

You learn to truly love yourself—no conditions, no exceptions. You figure out what real love feels like and finally understand how you deserve to be treated. You’ll master assertive communication, stand up for your beliefs, and stop apologizing for taking up space. And the best part? You’ll release those trapped emotions and break free from the generational trauma that’s been weighing you down. You’ll step into your power, ready to live a life led by your values, not your wounds.

When you heal the right way, you open up a world of endless possibilities. A meaningful, fulfilling, and purpose-driven life isn’t just a dream—it’s your new reality.

I know what it’s like to feel lost in the heartbreak maze. I’ve been there. That’s why I built The Healing Blueprint—to give you the tools, support, and guidance you need to heal and create the life you truly deserve.

What’s Inside The Healing Blueprint Membership

This isn’t just another program—it’s a total game-changer. You’ll go from feeling like a broken victim to becoming a confident, unstoppable force. Here’s what you’ll learn:

• How to defuse uncomfortable thoughts and feelings
• Self-regulation strategies that actually work
• How to change those sneaky limiting beliefs
• Setting boundaries without feeling guilty
• Using assertive communication to stand up for yourself
• Prioritizing self-care (yes, you deserve it!)
• Loving yourself unconditionally—no more self-doubt
• Releasing trauma and trapped emotions
• Understanding generational trauma and how it affects your choices
• Recognizing triggers and defusing them like a pro
• Spotting fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses
• Forgiving yourself (and others) to free your heart
• Identifying what really matters to you
• Taking committed actions toward your values
• Rewriting your story—because you’re the author now

What You Get 📦

💖 Two Live Events Per Month
Join me for live sessions where we dig into topics like healing your inner child, setting boundaries, and crushing those limiting beliefs. Plus, hot seat coaching for real-time breakthroughs!

💬 An Online Community That Gets It
Healing is tough, but you don’t have to do it alone. Connect with women who are walking the same path. Share your story, ask for advice, and get 24/7 support from your tribe. I’ll be there daily, too, dropping bonus content like journal prompts, guided meditations, and more. We’ve got you!

🌟 Guidance from Someone Who’s Been There
I’m not just a coach—I’m a trauma survivor. I know what it feels like to be stuck, and I’ve made it out. With expertise as a Behavior Analyst, Reiki Practitioner, Spiritual Guide, Intuitive Healer, and Author, I bring all the tools to help you thrive.

📚 Bonus Resource Library (worth $5,000+—yours free!)
A treasure chest of tools, guides, and exercises to help you navigate family drama, prioritize self-love, and reclaim your power.

🔥 50% Off 1:1 Sessions
Need personalized support? These sessions will help you create a custom plan for healing, self-care, and moving toward your goals.

✨ Early Access and Discounts
Get first dibs on future courses, webinars, and events—at special prices just for you!

Your Invitation to Heal 🌸

Heartbreak doesn’t have to be your story’s ending—it can be the beginning of your transformation. If you’re ready to stop making the mistakes that keep you stuck and start building a life full of love, confidence, and joy, The Healing Blueprint is waiting for you.

Join us today and take the first step toward the life you deserve.

https://purple-lotus-revival.mykajabi.com/thehealingblueprintmembership

P.S. Healing isn’t about being perfect—it’s about progress. Every little step you take toward self-love is a win. Let’s walk this journey together. 💫